Monday, October 09, 2006

I slept...

I was sitting there... wondering. Fag in one hand, the wind challenging the existence of the fire at my fingertips, blowing my face with the rigor of a determined Hercules... the lights far away were fade, the reds in the sparkled city showed no signs of turning green! As if they were reminding me... not everything is achievable after all, you can win a million sparkles... but then you stop... stop not because you are not capable but you cant go on... the code didn't compile, the test cases were all red... it was 3 am! I was up like a owl waiting for a mouse to move but scared of the sun turning the EAST luminous... but the moon had promised me.... it will keep company. the mouse didn't moved... the sun came up neither... was it the fag?? time was slow a snail faster... a lightning struck in the empty sky... i could see a distant GREEN railway signal......... it showed i am here! the way to work out exists, my BOSS walked in. I hid the ciggi, I cleared my throat. we walked back. i was up, awake no stopping for the goal.... the code compiled the test case ran... i didn't cared.. i was working... things changed. there were people around me...... the sun cheated me again... it came back. so i decided to trick him... when the sun told me wake up... i slept. There was green on this side of the fence after all!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Zindagi Rocks.

I wondered what was it... was it the alcohol? was it the excessive intake of the freshly bought pack of cigars? was it the pretty girls with low raises around me?

The heart was beating faster, before I knew it... I was doing some serious head banging... before I knew I was jumping... on the hard tunes of "khadki junction blues". Never did I know how Jimi hendrix felt at a distance of 2 meters...

The phone rang, it vibrated... I cut it off... it rang again.... maybe it was like a call back to the earth... from the heavens... I refused to come back! I wanted to live!

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Getting high...
The caffeine choked; the smoke was usual... getting in, drying the lungs. The nicotine was mercilessly killing the dead. The alcohol rose. It hit the arduous brain, nothing moved, nothing changed, nothing felt.

The reaction was hard, the reaction was unpredictable, the reaction was unthinkable. Quitting was not on the cards, Addiction was unconquerable. It was guarded by the mighty walls of lust and desire.
The troy felt. The hefty Achilles destroyed. The tender Patroclus humanized the cheyf of his existence. The addiction conquered by the power of presence, of love, of existence.
There was no caffeine, no smoke, no alcohol. The purity made us high...

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Rising into...

I always wondered what will be the toughest part in my life... I thought it will be the board exams, I cleared them; I had thought it will be the engineering days, I got through them; I thought it will be the campuses, no I had hit the bulls eye there...
It had to be this. It had to be that. Somewhere the logic goes for a toss, the heart says accept the brain argues. The reason and the reality don’t match. I was there, standing speechless, asking myself why did I answer the phone call? wonder why did I talk? wondering where did i loose the control? where did i agreed to walk ? thinking of what changed me? thinking was I really conscious thinking about all this? was i prepared for it?
No I wasn't. I shaked. I tremored. not with fear of failure but with excitement of realism. I was scared. It was real. I was standing... I looked... it was brilliant, it was radiant... it was blinding... it was soothing... it was completing...
I didn't knew whether I was alive.... but I wanted to stay... to know... to rise...

Friday, May 26, 2006

Getting close and cozy

Water flew down the roadways, and years passed by as the wooing bees across the empty sky… I was moving across the planes of the earth, thinking of the unthinkable… something that I had only dreamt of, something that I had just waited for so long… relentlessly, mercifully thinking the world will shower… the golden dreams will come true, will they? Am I moving?

I am getting close and cozy. No shaking, no staggering, I am so still, so calm. Am I still alive?